Sry I called you an 8
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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