I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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