If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
We just shotgunned beers for America
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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