One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
