I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
