if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
