Whod you bang
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
She's just so happy...and so naked.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
