MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Less talking, more tequila
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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