he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
