just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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