Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
