hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
