He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
