brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I have fence marks all over my body
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
