So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I lost the right to judge tonight
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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