Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Randomize
