yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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