i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
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