I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
