i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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