Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
