I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I supernannyed him into submission
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
