Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
we should paint friendship bongs
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
