idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
