Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
