Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
