HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
