Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
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