I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
