I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
