I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I stole a fireplace last night.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
