think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
