Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
