It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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