Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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