I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
