i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
My dick has a subreddit
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
