I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
