kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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