that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
