I got chris browned last night
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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