if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
