I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Sober January is a disaster.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
