Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
