I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
