we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
