just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
