Me. At least after what I've been through.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
