It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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