He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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