the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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