airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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