The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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