Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
