It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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