did you get engaged???
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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