I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
