she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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